


Better

by noorie



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-13 13:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3383423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noorie/pseuds/noorie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After long years of being side by side, Makoto grew to love his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better

Haruka, never interested in swimming until Makoto wanted to take swimming lessons together, got better in his own natural way.

Makoto was never jealous. It was Haruka that held him by the hand and encouraged him through expressions that Makoto learned to read. When his eyes lowered ever so modestly, it meant “yes.” When he looked away, it meant “no.” However childish it looked, it was endearing.

But when Haruka looked at him full on with a twinkle in his eyes, it meant, “Yes!” with the kind of glee in a child. He always knew what Haruka wanted. The ever-predictable Haruka. His big brother that held him by the hand—that felt a natural responsibility to keep Makoto safe and especially close when the old fisherman and a few others died at sea. It was just as natural as Haruka in the Iwatobi Swimming Club pool, how he’d easily glided through the waters as if he’d been a dolphin in his past life. But then, he never did felt better when Haruka swam at the beach despite Makoto’s pleas against it when it was a year later after the event. He was scared that the ocean would take Haruka away too.

In the end, Makoto felt responsible for Haruka’s lack of words when they grew older. Without having to ask or say anything, Makoto knew what Haruka wanted to do, wanted to eat, wanted to play, and when he wanted to sleep.

But Makoto felt better—maybe superior, first realizing when he asked a fidgeting Haruka when they were in elementary,

“You want to swim?”

And with a twinkle in his eye, Haruka nodded. It was winter.

\--

Makoto also felt better, that one summer where he came back from a family trip. He unpacked his things and ran straight to Haruka’s house. Makoto couldn’t wait to see Haruka. It had been a few months after all.

And there he was on the ground, sleeping like a cat on the tatami floor with the shoji door open, letting the gentle breeze in as the faint sounds of a wind chime echoed in the backyard. Makoto, too excited, rushed over and in attempt to wake his friend, ended up lying beside him. He shook him gently knowing Haruka would wake easily.

“Makoto…” his voice was feeble from sleep, “you’re… back?” His eyes blinked then sat up to look at Makoto properly.

Makoto smiled wide, abruptly standing and tugging at Haruka’s arms to stand too so that he could show Haruka the souvenirs he brought for him. And for a brief moment that felt like minutes, Makoto realized that he was looking  _down_  at Haruka.

From then on, no matter how much Haruka grew, Makoto would still be taller. Makoto never said anything about it however, knowing that Haruka would make a distasteful expression—or more so, be nonchalant.

\--

It was that first year in middle school that Makoto soon noticed the melancholy of his friend, Haruka. When it was time for lunch, Makoto would look down at him, and Haruka in turn, looked up from his desk, of course, with twinkles in his eyes for the lunch Makoto’s mother made for him. It was nothing new, but he couldn’t help noticing Haruka doodling all across his notebook, which was not his usual self. It was just after the winter break.

The extent of Haruka’s distractedness by far consisted of mainly daydreaming. To doodle on the other hand took more effort than daydreaming. It was as though Haruka  _wanted_  to be distracted, that if he daydreamed instead, his mind would automatically fall back to what had been bothering him.

Makoto thought little of it then, until Haruka quit swimming competitively.

Of course, Makoto thought there was more to Haruka’s excuse of wanting to only “swim free.” But he never pushed. Perhaps Makoto’s presence was all Haruka needed to feel better. He hoped so. And for that he was thankful when Haruka came back to his usual stride months later. But Haruka was never the same.

\--

The case of Haruka wearing Makoto’s shirt was normal. Haruka had fit Makoto’s shirt just fine, that is, until they were in high school.

Makoto’s mother decided that he needed new clothes to fit his growing body and went shopping; dragging him along for the sole purpose of what shirt and what color looked good on her son.

“What about this orange and yellow shirt?” his mother smiled, placing the shirt on him so that she could see well.

“Mom… it looks a bit bright… I don’t think…”

“Oh hush, you look handsome, sweetie. It looks cute on you.” She took the shirt back into her arms along with the rest of the clothing she had picked out earlier and purchased them.  
Sometimes Makoto wondered why she asked in the first place.

He avoided wearing the shirt then, still neatly folded in his drawer.  That is, until one day, Haruka ended up sleeping over. Coincidentally, Makoto had a cold that time. He was afraid that Haruka would catch his cold, but at the same time didn’t mind Haruka taking care of him. Inwardly, he enjoyed Haruka’s light caresses on his hair.  
Makoto dozed off when Haruka went to take a bath. The light shuffle of Haruka opening his drawer for a shirt aroused him, but not enough to become fully awake as he dropped back into slumber.

However, Haruka’s incessant prodding and whispering his name saying, “Makoto, wake up—your mom told me to make sure you drink this…” woke him.

Haruka entered his vision, illuminated by the desk lamp beside his bed. And for a long while, it felt like his heart stopped at the sight of Haruka in that orange and yellow shirt that he’d somewhat disliked, hanging loosely down his collarbones enough to see his nipples. All because Haruka was crouching to see his face, with hand still on Makoto’s cheek. Makoto’s eyes darted away only to spot the sleeves which should have stood at his biceps, only to see it baggy, bunched up by the elbows when Haruka wore it.

Of course, he’d seen Haruka naked many times—so much that it was absolutely normal. Very normal that he wouldn’t give it a second thought.

But perhaps it was his weakened mind state or the constant echo of Haruka calling his name—maybe even the look of concern in Haruka’s eyes when he didn’t answer, that the thought crossed his mind:

_I’m in love with Haru._

A small droplet of water from Haruka’s damp hair fell onto his lips.

“Ah, sorry Makoto.” Haruka said as he wiped the simple droplet with his thumb. And as he pulled away, Makoto grabbed Haruka’s hand, bringing it back to his lips and feeling its warmth across his cool lips.

“Makoto?” Haruka’s light voice sent shivers down his spine as he refused to let go when Haruka tried to move his hand away. “Makoto, if you’re awake, then drink your medicine.”

 _Haruka’s voice…_ Makoto could sleep easy if Haruka kept talking…

“Makoto!”

Makoto jerked awake, with Haruka forcibly opening his eyelids with his other hand. “Medicine.”

“… Don’t want…” Makoto turned his head away, not wanting to taste the medicine’s bitterness, but brought Haruka’s hand with him, still on his lips. He preferred Haruka’s hands over medicine any day. For a while he dozed off again, relishing Haruka’s warmth.

“Makoto.” Haruka said in his ear this time, causing Makoto’s eyes fall open. His heart raced in alarm as the sound of Haruka’s pronunciation of ‘Makoto’ echoed in his fatigued mind; still light, but husky from whispering with a bit of impatience in his tone.

_How cute._

In a light joke, Makoto said, “Only if you kiss me. Maybe my cold will go away…” He chided himself at how childish it sounded. Already an older brother to Ren and Ran, he had no one else that would give in to his selfishness as much—except Haruka, in his own peculiar way. But upon seeing Haruka’s quizzical brow, Makoto quickly said, “Just kidd…”

The hand that Makoto kept on his lips moved to his cheek. With Haruka’s free hand, took Makoto’s other cheek, and with a swift movement, leaned down and kissed him.

It was the position of how one would give cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR)—except Haruka didn’t open his mouth. Soft, were Haruka’s lips as it bumped against Makoto’s chapped lips—a feeling so foreign and shy, but he went down to kiss him again properly. Haruka brushed from left to right of Makoto’s mouth a little clumsily before pulling back, leaving Makoto dumbfounded, and mouth falling open.

“There.” Haruka said almost proudly, as he grabbed Makoto’s medicine. “You promised.” And this time, Makoto drank the medicine obediently, but still dumbfounded. Nonetheless there was one thing that stuck to him most.

That gaudy orange and yellow shirt became his favorite.

\--

Makoto was afraid now, that if he let Haruka give in to his selfishness, there would be danger. He liked Haruka.  _Loved_  him. Adored him more than ever. Makoto made it out of his way to dote on Haruka instead, which made it an ongoing joke that Makoto was the older one.

It didn’t matter of course, not to Haruka. The subject matter was irrelevant for his interests laid elsewhere, which Makoto was relieved. Makoto didn’t want Haruka to compromise his guarded feelings.

That was until the training camp happened, waking up to find Haruka calling his name louder than what he was used to when he coughed up the water from his lungs. From what Makoto gathered, Haruka was about to pull the CPR card again.

After Haruka helped Makoto to find shelter under the cliffs’ rocks, it happened. Haruka was doting on  _him_.

Makoto felt better then, having told Haruka his feelings about the ocean—how he froze when he tried to save Rei from the ocean tides. Makoto thought he was strong enough hold a training camp. All he wanted to do was swim with Haruka again—see the smile on Haruka’s face when they win medley relays.

 “Haru,” Makoto finally said after a brief moment when he was done speaking. Haruka turned his head to him questioningly, ever so attentive whenever Makoto spoke. Makoto couldn’t help but notice Haruka’s body shivering.  Unconsciously, Makoto took both of Haruka’s hands and closed the gap between them for a kiss.

 Haruka’s teeth, still clenched from shivering, slowly loosened when Makoto licked the shivering boy’s front teeth. Haruka didn’t pull away.

_Haru didn’t pull away!_

Makoto let go of Haruka’s hands then, to cup Haruka’s cheeks to bring him closer into the kiss, making Haruka slide on top of Makoto’s left thigh. Haruka’s cold hands found themselves onto Makoto’s shoulders, slightly gripping them as Makoto breathed Haruka’s name.

When they finally pulled away, Haruka rested his head on Makoto’s shoulder. He could feel Haruka’s hot breath on his skin as he went back to hold his friend’s shivering cold hand.

After a moment Haruka’s mouth moved. “Makoto… do you…” but before he could finish, Nagisa and Rei found them. And together, the four of them took shelter in an old lighthouse.

Makoto was surprised though, that Haruka was still concerned for him, constantly checking to see if Makoto was okay, knowing that he was scared of ghosts and creepy places. Did Haruka misinterpret his affection? Did Haruka think of it as how family would kiss each other? Makoto was relieved however, that Haruka did not make it out of his way to avoid him. It was as if nothing changed. But he knew that Haruka had incredible composure.

The storm passed over night, and when morning came, Makoto realized something. The ocean felt a lot calmer and he wasn’t afraid anymore. Makoto looked straight to Haruka after he’d suggested he would swim back.

“Besides… everybody’s here with me,” Makoto said, never leaving eye contact with Haruka.

The sound of Nagisa and Rei saying that they’d swim back with him felt like a distant echo, as Makoto’s gaze lingered on Haruka for a moment which Haruka noticed after watching Nagisa and Rei enter the ocean. The taller boy smiled at him fondly—a smile that Haruka couldn’t discern. Makoto had smiles that could mean a lot of things, but this one was different. When Makoto broke away to join the swim, it left Haruka puzzled. What did it mean?

“The ocean doesn’t scare him anymore, probably.” Haruka shrugged as he joined his teammates. But as he neared the ocean, he touched his lips where Makoto had kissed him.

He then spent most of his time swimming with his head underwater beside Makoto.

\--

_Yes, I love you._

_\--_

**Author's Note:**

> ... I can't get over that long lingering stare in the 6th episode ending of that first season...


End file.
